21 November 2005
Am I covered by Fake Skin???Argh...!Why am I always hiding under my fake skin???
I find it hard to be myself infront of people most of the time..
I felt myself so fake..
Whatever I said and behaved, I got to think twice..
"Will this offend people?", "Will I be condemn if I did this?"
Sometime people said I think too much but if I dun tink..
It's will be kinda of bad to me if I just spill out whatever
I am not happy about..
People will hate me..but it is contradicting..
Most people told me to be myself but I can't..
In fact, I am thinking all the time..trying to alter my personality to fit
into the crowd or something..
Even in my blog, I got to watch what I am typing sometime..
I am so tired..Tired of being a girl with a mask..
In fact, I only show the real me to people who i close to, especially friends with labels..
The real me is really a quiet and lonely girl..
That why I always do funny thing to catch attention..
Yes, I am an attention seeker..
It is to hide the low esteem side of me..
Sometime I would keep quiet and not get involved in topic..
Becoz I felt that not involving might mean no trouble like being called
a "Big mouth" or something..
I am quite a quick tempered person..but I normally will ctrl
my temper to my friends..
But of coz i got a limit of tolerance..
3 simple levels..
1st level- Cry and I will scold or nag at u if you cross this..
2nd level- Scold u "Fuck u lah" with fire in my eyes..
3rd level- Punch or kick you real hard man!!!
Yeah..Get bored over it..Just let me complain..
Tired of living..Tired of being covered by fake skin..