13 November 2007
Walking Her Last Path - a lesson learnt
6th Nov, 12.20am..
My Ah Ma whose lunar age is 91, passed away peacefully.
She was fortunate as her health was good all this while.
Just got weaker legs due to old age..
There were signs that she was leaving...
She had diahorrea and refused to eat..
And her faeces were charcoal black..
According to mother's tales...black faeces signify that the body system is going haywired & need to see a doctor quick...
She waved and say "byebye" to my cousin and 1st uncle when they visited her in the evening on 5th.
She never say byebye to anyone of us b4..
In fact, she dont even speak english..
I arrived with my mama on the 7th..
We were supposed to crawl in to my grandma's wake..
It was a tradition for kins that came bk from oversea to pay respect..
My mama wept and keep calling "mama" as she crawled in...
She refused to leave when I tried to pull her away from the coffin..
Sighzzz..So Xin Suanz.
It is considered a new experience to me..
This is the first time that I actually attended my own kin's funeral..
I always thought it will be a solemn one..
But to my surprise, everything was seem joyfulz..
They were saying that it is suppose to be joyous as it was a blessing to my grandma that she actually get to see through 5 generations...
Too bad she has no chance to see her great great grandchild who will be born in dec..sighz..=(
*yea..going to be a grandaunt...-_-"
Oh well..back to the traditional wake procedure..
Was stunned when my cousins shouted "GEt Ready for lesson!"..
I just followed and sat on a mat and was passed with a joss stick..
Then i know "lesson" mean "prayer's time"...-_-
Everyone was talking and giggling...
Really cultural shock lo..
Din really expect thatz..
Both of my cousins, Daniel & Andy who are 28 and 29 respectively even attempted to burn my smooth fatty thigh with joss stick ash...
So mean of them..damn painful lo!!!Even got water blisters lo..=(
okay..just one shot of the whole ceremony with my ah ma's pic in it..
White = children, sons' family members
Blue = Maternal grandchildren
Red = Great Grandchildren
I have calculatedz..
79 living people in the family tree at this moment...
Some of the 79...*Me the youngest BLUE..hehehe
AS I was saying the ceremony wasnt solemn at the start..but everything changed on the last nite of prayers..
yea..my dad scolded them..and all...hmmm..went solemn that nite..with long long prayers session..
But...one of my cousin..was quite irritating..
She laughed out loud when the taoist priest chanted our names out..
Feel so much to slap her...so no respect lo...$%#@!
But I pei fu my lao er ge..
He actually kneel for the whole sessions..
Really sincere..can tell he is very upset..=(
There were buddhist chanting too..
Wah kao..damn long session lo...we chanted the whole book at turbo speed...
It was a pretty new experience to me...
We even have to cross a man-made "Na-He bridge" for 7 times & putting two 1-cent coins every cross..
Throughout the whole procedure, we kept seeing this black butterfly on the wall..
The elders were saying that black butterfly represent the dead one..
The spirit evoled itself to a butterfly to visit their kins...
That particular black butterfly muz be my ah ma...=)
She came back to see all of us..=)
After the prayers, we proceed to burning of offerings to my late grandma..
(walk in circles)
After the procedures..
We still got mood to...
BTW..all the funeral pic nt taken by me..
I thought it was not very nice to take..
But seem got so i post some to spread the culture!
On sat, 10th Nov..was my ah ma's chu bing day...
Almost everyone in the family were there...
There were tears, reddish eye and comfort everywhere...
Was really heartbrking..even me cant hold back those tears..
Especially when it is time to close the coffin..=(
Especially when the band played many meaningful songs..
I felt so sad when my 4th auntie wept and told me,"I wan 2 see my ma..now i cannot see her..talk to her also will not respond le..."
That day was so solemn that no one said a word throughout the journey to the burial area..=(
My ah Ma was to be buried next to my ah Gong..
We offered our last joss-stick and threw a handful of soil onto the coffin b4 they covered it with soil..=(
None of us turned back. Not suppose to.
It was believed this will make the spirit let go and rest in peace..if not, it will refuse to leave..=(
After that, we had congee with some side dishes and....
As we dined, it started to pour heavily..
Suddenly everyone cheered out loud!!!!
i was like wth...raining also happy..
After explanation from my cousins, then I knew pouring after the burial is a good sign..
A blessing to the descendents and will bring prosperity to the descendents...=)
It was indeed a great learning experience....=)
Beside that, did alot of shopping too..hehehhee..=P
Last but not least..
"Ah Ma...i luv u..hugz"