05 November 2005
Why I can't be MYSELF???
There something I dun understand..
Issit that hard to be myself???
Why can't I behave I used to be..?
If I looked back, I guess only people in my primary school see the real me..
I was quite a gangster in primary school like a"Da jie da"..
When the girls kana bullied by boys, I will stand up for them..
I still remember how I threw a water bottle to throw a boy..
And his whole neck was swollen and was crying...
I still remember how I caused this guy to see the teacher when he tore my shirt
I still remember how honest I am..
I could spill out secret to this person if i think this person is supposed to noe and he/she was involved..
In that time, I can show how i feel to anyone..
But now, I cannot be what I used to be...
Sometime, I felt myself so fake..
I could not do anything if i see anything that is not righteous..
I got to think twice of what i am saying..
I have to hide my real feeling in order not to affect other people..
Well, all these things probably only my "sisters" from primary school would noe..
Only infront of them, I could display my real self..
Only them, I could trust most..
They are indeed my life time friends...Label for Friends..
As time went past, I tend to give label for friends..
When I give this label such as "sister" and "buddy"..
it means is someone that I could really show my real personality and comfortable to talk to..
But a label is always a label..
Whether these people will become my lifetime friends still depend on frequency on contact in the future..
And whether the person treat u the same way as u treat him/her..
I might be treating the person as the best friend but the person might just treat me as friend..
So far, I only got 3 life time friends..
They are Peishan and Kunrui from primary school and Laiquin from secondary school..
So who will become my lifetime friends from poly???
Well, the funny thing is Kunrui and peishan were not my good friends in school..
I met Kunrui during a story telling competition and i snapped at her when she won..
As for peishan, I met her through prefect duty..yeah, I was a gangster prefect..hehe!
Laiquin..Mmm..Know her in sec3 class..
ALways beat her up when she slept in class..
She was a super guai prefect and I was still abit of gangster..
I was wondering who will be my lifetime friend from poly..
Maybe from TB25?Maybe from TB52?Maybe from NACC?
I really dunno..