14 January 2006
My Descision..
Sprinters..Sorry but i have decided that I won't be joining IVP..
I had already lost drive to work hard and win a medal..
I felt that I am lousy and will disappoint u guys in the end if i took part..
Eversince I stated that i might not be joining, few people had came to drink kopi and try to persuade me..I appreciate that very much,really..
I tried telling myself..I will work hard and get myself ready..
But today, I went to sea training..
I found out that I have no drive..
Maybe is becoz that i have not been training for weeks..I dunno..
Normally when I am way behind the rest, I would "REgina,jiayou..!"
I would "Fuck lah..REgina!U can be faster.."
But today, I just "*sigh*I dun tink i shld join the ivp.."
I really appreciate that Dennis and Junsheng tried to motivate..
And was happy when Cher gave me a smile and gave me a nod..
But i just felt that my time is up..
Is just 1 mth plus to my graduation..
And now I oledi planning on what kind of job i want and preparing my resume..
Maybe I find finding a gd job nw is my priority..
Or maybe I am worried and no confidence..
Truthfully, I have no chance to win..
And since young, I am scared to do smth that i have no confidence in...
That the reason y I always cry b4 a competition..
I noe u guys want me to take it as just for fun..
But i could not..coz i would b pretty serious it if i take part..
And taking it as for fun will be unfair to others who really want to take part..
I dunno issit me or it happened to all graduating ppl..
Will lose that drive and felt that its time to worry abt life after grad..
I can assure u guys that i used to join for competition, for the purpose of fun & challenge just like anyone of u..
I thought joining watersport is damn cool..
I stayed on for the team, the coach and my passion..
But now..i just want to be an active member..
I would still participate in all outings..
Trained like u guys..
Canoe like u guys..
I just dun wan to handle the pressure of race..
I luv canoeing and luv the team..
Coz they bring me the greatest memories i have in my life n i will always remember it..
Joining canoeing is my greatest achievement in life..
Now, it's time for me to seek a new achievement--a good career
Another thing is becoz i want to slim down..
Appearance is very impt to a lady when it come for job interview loh..
Got to be sexy and grab the attention mah..hahaha..
Sprinters..I promise u smth..
I noe it might be hard since i am going into hotel line..
But i will make time for u guys and canoe..
Coz Canoe is my passion n u guys will always be my great pals and great team mates..
Without u guys, my life will not live to the fullest..
Luv ya guys!!!
