25 March 2007
This is my life.
Where is the colour?
Tried to indulge myself in many many outings & spent alot of $$$..
I am home late almost everyday since the breakup..
I am scared to be alone in the room..
I scared I will anyhow think and miss him and cry..
I know what I am doing now is like a timid turtle running away from problem..
I know many of u out there trying and wanting to slap me to wake me up..
And ask me to face the reality and move on..
I faced it but I still cant move on..
My heart is too heavy to move..
Feel numb. Feel like crying at time but cant cry out.
Too tired and numb to cry..
Sometime will miss him so much and hope can get back together..
Sometime will think "aiya..not possible le..we too diff le..hard to get along.."
Emotions are so hard to control..
Still can laugh and so on..
Often LOL to agitate my heart to make it feel againz..
People said I always look very sian..at times, I do stoned/hibernate..
When I look at my pictures I took..
I felt my eyes has lost its glam..like no life within it..
The smile I gave is juz smiling for the sake of smiling..
Tried my best to make myself feel really happy and do things i always do..
I can give the widest grin but am I truly happy?
What happened to Regina?
Her life becomes DULL..