08 April 2007
Thoughts & Emotions
Me: Have you ever regretted to have me as ur gf?
He: No..
Me: If you can turn back time, would you want me as ur gf again?
He: Now i know that is a sad ending..it will be a no..
He: Why always talk back? Look forward.
I did tried to "F**k it la..juz bloody hell get over it la"...
did tried to make new frens, go out with guys, go out with friends, engage in new activities..
I am always smiling and smiling and seem to be having fun..
but...
I am not happy.
Doing all these things are sort of an "escape" for my emotions..
I cant and dunno how to tell anyone how I feel..
I can only hide in my room and sob quietly and type in my blog..
I watch tv. And tv show always have meaningful dialogue that will make me reflect..
I know "If it's meant to be mine, it will be..If's it's not meant to be mine, no matter what i do..it will also never be mind.."
I know all these but I cant do it..
My heart don't allow me to do it.
At least for this period of time.
Till my angel arrives..
For the time being..
My mind still gt flashbacks of the time we spent together the happy time..
I still read the msgs we communicated thru myspace initially..
And i rem every words he said b4..
Sighz.
