07 May 2008
# SELF REFLECTION
I have been in the REAL world for a long time..
The endless route lay infront of me is still a mystery..
Behind me, is the route I have walked that cannot be changed..
It has been a difficult & tiring walk.
Looking back at it, it is a walk that are filled with many regrets.
That route seems to filled up with dirt and many sharp stones & broken glasses..
Sometime I did stepped on it and start to bleed.
Sometime just a scratch but sometime it got a deep cut that leave a scar..
Occasionally u will see a sweet smelling flower that will bring a smile to me..
My happiness seem not to last for a long time..
When I am sad, I look forward for happiness..
When I am happy, I hope the smile can last as long as possible..
When I was a child, I want to grow up fast.
Now I all grown up, I hope I can go back to my fatty bom bom time.
At least then i am carefree from problems, only facing issue of being overweight & "dun fren u"matter.
Growing up make problems surface too. Money problem & relationship problem especially.
Many time tis problems create hindrance to friendship & kinship..
As u grow up, life might seem depressing at time..
In life, we made choices..
I have made many wrong choices..
But I cant change my choice..
What can I do?
Turn back time and re-walk my route?
Will i still step on broken glasses and bleed again?
I can just sit and pray for the next best thing to happen..
Nobody want sad thing to happen..
No one want to be hurt..
I just want to be happy.
Issit that hard?
I just want to have a job with good prospect & pay.
I just want to have a close and happy family.
I just want good friends around me to have fun together with.
I just want a good man to love me, have a family and live happily ever after like any princess from the "long time ago" story.
I may be a self claimed kura princess.
But i dun have the luxury of a princess.
One day I might just die like that.
I want to live my life at the fullest.
I want to stay in my "la-la" world.
Finally, I hope to die with a smile on my face.
Can i die with a smile?